Be kind...
"Leaders Without Titles talk about ideas versus people, and dreams versus others." - Robin Sharma
I was having dinner with one of my best friends a few nights ago. He was in from out of town and it had been a while since we broke bread in person (and had a beer or two!) As we were catching up that impulse to gossip started to crop up. "Have you heard what so-and-so is up to?" That kind of talk.
Later that night, I thought more about that impulse. From an evolutionary standpoint, humans are predisposed to gossip. Thousands of years ago gossip around those who were not carrying their weight could be a matter between life and death. Fast forward to today, and the move to gossip is still alive and well.
But what about when gossip goes to a dark place? Are we protecting the group or are we simply being unkind? Looking back at that dinner I mentioned earlier, the conversation had moved to an ugly place. As a father of three children in the age range of 14 to 4, I see daily how destructive negative talk and gossip can be.
In light of this, I am challenging myself to stay away from negative talk about other people, personally and professionaly. It doesn't serve any purpose.
I would like to challenge everyone on the team to do the same. If you find yourself in a conversation that feels mean or unkind, slow down and really ask yourself, is this conversation helping me and my team reach their goals? If the answer is no, take a step back.
The coach I work with made this point to me a few months back and it really stuck with me: when someone demonstrates behavior that frustrates or annoys you, keep in mind that that very behavior is causing that person ten times the pain it is causing you.
When someone has ugly behavior or is mean, it is usually coming from a place of trauma somewhere in their life. It is not to say, it excuses their behavior but certainly, we can be the bigger person and have empathy and meet them with kindness.
The world would be a better place if everyone just took time to be kind to one another.
"I told you once and I told you twice
why be mean, when you can be nice
come on, be kind to me"